Optimism When the Going Gets Tough

Surround Yourself With Positive People

“When the going gets tough,

the tough get going.”

Anonymous

Among all the blogs, newsletters, and publications that I follow, there was a recent uptick in the content on optimism. After months of news on pandemic, closure, stay-at-home, and recession, I guess we all can use some good news.

The Oxford Dictionary defines optimism as "hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something." Applied as a tactic or displayed as a leadership trait, it can be a lot more: it can become a state of mind.

Gerhard Gschwandtner wrote in a recent newsletter: “Optimism is infectious, so if you can't seem to cure your blues yourself, try hanging out with a more positive crowd. Notice other people's reactions to crises and how they cope. Listen to the way they talk and interact with others. You might even ask how they maintain an upbeat attitude. ... When you see that others can indeed be happy in spite of their troubles, you'll have more faith in your ability to do the same.”

The same circumstance can be viewed optimistically by one person (“glass-half-full”), and pessimistically by another (“glass-half-empty”). Anthony Iannarino wrote about this recently:

“You still possess the ability to put yourself in an unproductive state, one that doesn't serve you, and one that prevents you from producing the results that you want. You can work yourself up over all kinds of things, like clients, employees, the events of the day as reported by the media, social media, politics, or the aberrant behavior of other human beings.

The way that you put yourself in a negative mental state is by focusing on something and investing it with meaning beyond what it deserves. You see something you don't like, and then you start telling yourself why it is ‘wrong’ and how ‘it should be different’ and what you believe it means until you have worked yourself up over the fact that the world doesn't exactly match your vision.

... You may not have noticed that negative people don't realize they are negative, but they don't. Were you to describe them as negative, they would reject your assessment and describe themselves as positive, despite the evidence to the contrary. Or they would argue that they are a "realist," a person who wants to focus on what is negative without taking up the mantle of the pessimist.”

If the consensus is that viewing a situation with optimism is better (?!), what can we each do individually, or what can we do as a group or a society to make everyone into a “glass-half-full” person?

Much has been written about it, so here is a compilation from a variety of sources:

- Start the day with a positive affirmation – tell yourself out loud that “Today will be a good day.”

- Focus on the good things – it may be small, but there is a bright flip side to every obstacle.

- Don’t sweep your negative feelings under the rug – resilience requires emotional complexity, which means both positive and negative emotions.

- Find humor in bad situations – it may have to be dark humor.

- Practice self-compassion – change locations, talk to someone new, and tell yourself, "I can take this one day at a time."

- Turn failures into lessons – there is a lesson to be learned in everything.

- Treat yourself – know what you love, and then the smallest of treats has a huge impact.

- Do not engage in negative self-talk – just don’t do it. Find the positive flipside and talk about that to yourself.

- Give back – Altruistic behavior will make you feel better about yourself.

- Start writing – Make a list or keep a journal of your accomplishments.

- Focus on the present - most sources of negativity stem from a memory of a recent event or the exaggerated imagination of a potential future event.

and

- Surround yourself with positive people – misery loves company, and there is absolutely no help in that.

To me, this last one is the most important. It is hard to dig yourself out of a dark, negative hole. Surround yourself with friends or mentors that are optimists. It is almost inevitable that you will turn into a “glass-half-full” person.

__________________

Larry Alton – 7 Practical Tips to Achieve a Positive Mindset

Kristin Wong – How to Stay Optimistic When Everything Seems Wrong

Selecthealth.org – How to Say Optimistic During Hard Times

Photo by Anne Gosewehr