The Cousin Circle: What Family Dynamics Taught Me About Networks, Perspective, and Leadership
Some relationships are chosen. Others are assigned. Cousins fall into the latter category—but over time, they often become something far more intentional. Looking back, my experience growing up with a larger group of cousins shaped how I think about networks, hierarchy, and the subtle dynamics of human relationships.
I have eight cousins. Not all the same age, not all equally close, and certainly not all equally understood at any given point in time.
As a child, seeing them was tied to occasions—family gatherings, holidays, celebrations. These were the moments when our individual lives intersected. And unlike a typical group of friends, this “cousin circle” spanned a wide range of ages.
That created an interesting dynamic.
The older cousins fascinated me. They represented the next stage of life—what it meant to be a teenager, what came after school, how the world might look in just a few years. I watched them closely, probably more than they realized.
The younger cousins, on the other hand, felt more like a responsibility than a source of inspiration. Much like younger siblings, they had a talent for being slightly out of sync with whatever I thought was important at the time.
And yet, every time we gathered, something predictable happened. Regardless of age gaps or individual differences, the cousins gravitated toward each other. We split off from the adults, formed our own group, and created our own space—playing games, talking, exploring, and occasionally getting into trouble.
Now, years later, those relationships have evolved. There are cousin gatherings that happen by choice, not obligation. There’s a WhatsApp group that keeps us loosely connected. The closeness varies, but the connection remains.
What seemed like casual family interaction was, in reality, an early education in group dynamics, influence, and long-term relationship building—lessons that translate directly into leadership.
1. Networks are built over time, not on demand.
As children, we didn’t consciously build relationships with our cousins—they simply existed. But the repeated exposure, shared experiences, and passage of time created a durable network.
In business, the same principle applies. Strong networks aren’t built when you need them; they’re built long before. Consistency matters more than intensity.
2. Diverse groups create broader perspective.
The age spread among my cousins exposed me to different life stages early on. I could observe what came next, learn informally, and adjust my expectations.
In leadership, surrounding yourself with people at different stages—more experienced, less experienced, and peers—creates a more complete view of reality. Homogeneous groups may be comfortable, but they limit perspective.
3. Not all relationships need to be equal to be valuable.
I wasn’t and still am not equally close to all eight cousins, and that was perfectly fine. Some relationships were stronger, others more distant, but each had its place.
In business, leaders often assume that all relationships must be equally deep or equally active. That’s neither realistic nor necessary. What matters is understanding the nature of each connection and maintaining it appropriately
4. Relationships evolve—if you let them.
What started as occasional, almost accidental interaction has turned into something more intentional over time. The WhatsApp group, the gatherings—these are choices, not obligations.
In leadership, relationships should evolve. Former colleagues become partners, clients become collaborators, acquaintances become trusted advisors. The key is to allow that evolution rather than freezing relationships in their original form.
Looking back, my cousins were more than extended family. They were my first exposure to a network that wasn’t self-selected, where dynamics had to be navigated rather than designed. That early experience taught me to observe, adapt, and connect across differences—skills that are at the heart of effective leadership today. Because whether in families or in business, success rarely happens in isolation. It happens in circles—some chosen, some inherited, all worth understanding.